Friendship in Islam

Written By:
Ibn Yasin


There are two basic questions that need to be addressed when looking at friendship, they are: who is a good friend and am I a good friend? Both of these questions are answered sufficiently by the hadith of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) where he said, "None of you will have faith till he wishes for his (Muslim) brother what he likes for himself."[1]

Applying this rule to friendship means that in order to have good friends one has to be a good friend as well. So what constitutes a good friend in Islam?

The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said, "The best servants of Allah are those who, when they are seen, cause Allah to be remembered. The worst servants of Allah are those who go about slandering, who separate friends, and seek to distress the upright."[2]

This hadith should prompt us to ask ourselves, do our friends cause us to remember Allah and do I cause my friends to remember Allah? If the answer to these questions are in the negative than perhaps you need to seek out better friends or become a friend that makes one’s friends remember Allah.

Having good friends is so important that in the hadith of the man who killed a hundred people and wanted to repent, a scholar he approached for advice instructed him to leave his current place of residence and travel to a place where he would be among those who are fearful of Allah and thus change for the better.[3] Allah forgave him for he was in search of better company wanting to get closer to Allah.

We must also ask ourselves as to why the friends we have are our friends and why they are friends with us? While having friends because of business dealings and other worldly benefits is not sinful, having friends just for the sake of earning the pleasure of Allah is much better. [4]

The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) is also reported to have said that those who love each other for the cause and pleasure of Allah will be the envy of the prophets and martyrs on the Day of Judgement and will be on pulpits of light. [5] In this regard the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) told the following story, “A person visited his brother in another town and Allah sent an angel to wait for him on his way and when he came to him he said: “Where do you intend to go?” He said: “I intend to go to my brother in this town.” He (the angel) said: “Have you done any favour to him (the repayment of which you intend to get)?” He said: “No, except that I love him for the sake of Allah, the Exalted and Glorious.” Thereupon he (the angel) said: “I am a Messenger to you from Allah (to inform you) that Allah loves you as you love him (for His sake).”[6]

Thus, when we love someone seeking Allah’s pleasure the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) advised us that we should let them know that we love them.[7]

Another quality of a good friend is that they enjoin what is good and forbid what is evil[8] and they are protecting friends of each other from sin and evil deeds. [9] A Muslim also does not deliberately hurt his friends with his hands and his tongue.[10] Friends are also gentle and kind towards each other. [11]


The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) also defined for us who is a good friend, when he said,

"The most enviable of my friends in my estimation is a believer with little property who finds pleasure in prayer, who performs the worship of his Lord well, who obeys Him in secret, who is obscure among men, who is not pointed out by people, and whose provision is a bare sufficiency with which he is content." He then snapped his fingers and said, "His death will come speedily, the women who weep for him will be few, and what he leaves will be little."[12]


The best example we have of a good friendship is that of the Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) and Abu Bakr (radi Allahu anhu). [13] The Prophet (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said of Abu Bakr, "The person who has favored me most of all both with his friendship and wealth, is Abu Bakr.”[14]


This is because their friendship was based on faith and belief in Allah and not on any material or worldly thing.[15] Friends have to help us in fulfilling our purpose in life which is to worship Allah, if they do not than we must consider looking for better friends who will help us to do this.[16]


On the Day of Judgement Allah says that, “Friends on that Day will be enemies of one to another except the Righteous.”[17]


This means that the righteous friends that a person has will be of benefit on the Day of Judgement while unrighteous friends will be a burden and a cause of anguish and regret.[18]

Covering the faults of one’s friends is also what good friends do, provided they advise them to correct their sinful behaviour as well.[19]


In regard to having an argument with one’s friend, one can only refrain from speaking to one’s friends for three days after which is it unlawful not to say salaam if you meet them. [20] Under normal circumstances, friends should greet one another with the salaam[21], smile[22] and shake hands[23] as this part of the good manners which Islam teaches.


In conclusion Ali (radi Allahu anhu) said, “Befriend righteous people, for they are an asset in this life and the hereafter.”[24]


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[1] Bukhari, vol.1, no.12

[2] Ahmad, Baihaqi, in Shu'ab al-Iman, and Tirmidhi, no.1261

[3] Bukhari, vol.4, no.676

[4] Muslim, no.1169; Tirmidhi, no.139; Abu Dawood, no.1563; Bukhari, vol.1, no.15

[5] Ahmad and Abu Ya'la with a hassan chain. Al-Hakim says its chain is sahih, as reported in Fiqh-us-Sunnah, vol.1, no.116

[6] Muslim, no.1170

[7] Abu Dawood, no.2431; Tirmidhi, no.1298 and Baihaqi, in Shu'ab al-Iman

[8] Abu Dawood, no.2037

[9] Surah Tauba 9:71 & Surah Al’i Imran 3:114

[10] Bukhari, vol.1, nos.9 & 10

[11] Tirmidhi, no.1316

[12] Ahmad, Tirmidhi, no.1352; and Ibn Majah

[13] Bukhari, vol.5, no.244

[14] Bukhari, vol.5, no.6

[15] Bukhari, vol.6, no.164

[16] Surah Az Zariyat 51:56

[17] Surah Az Zurukh 43:67

[18] Surah Ash Shu’araa 26:99-102

[19] Muslim, no.1245

[20] Bukhari, vol.8, no.254

[21] Muslim, no.19; Riyad-us-Saliheen, vol.2, no.848

[22] Tirmidhi, nos.593 & 594; Fiqh-us-Sunnah, vol.3, no.98

[23] Abu Dawood, nos.2478 & 2479; Bukhari, vol.8, no.279; Muwatta, Ch.47, no.16; Tirmidhi, nos.279, 1217 & 1218; Ahmad; Ibn Majah; Riyad-us-Saliheen, vol.2, no.888

[24] The Road to Good Friendship, by Abdul Malik Al-Qasim, Translated by Jalal Abualrub, p.28


SOURCE:
Islamic_Group